While waiting at a bus stop for a bus, a woman
stepped onto a weight machine that told your fortune and weight for a quarter.
She put a quarter in, and out came a card that read:
"Your age is 32, You weigh 135 lbs, and you play the fiddle."
She found the fortune amusing, since she didn't play the fiddle, but it did
have her age correct. About that time, an old gentleman walked up carrying a
fiddle. She asked him if she could see his fiddle. He agreed and to their
amazement, she began playing the fiddle with great natural skill.
She wondered if the fortune machine had actually known something about her
that she didn't. She thought about it, and decided to try the weight machine
again. She put another quarter in the machine, and out comes the card that
reads: "Your age is 32, you weigh 135 lbs., and you have gastritis."
She found this one to be absurd, as she was in perfect health. So she went
back to the bus-stop to wait for her bus.
While sitting there, she develops abdominal pains that continue to get worse
until she lets rip a humongous batch of anal air. She wondered about the
fortune, and again was curious if the machine was capable of knowing stuff
about her that she didn't know.
She goes back and puts another quarter in the machine. Out comes a card that
reads: "Your age is 32, you weigh 135 lbs., and you are about to have sex."
She laughed out loud, as she had been trying to find a decent guy to screw
around with for months, with no luck. She is sitting there waiting for the
bus, when this attractive young man sits down and immediately their eyes
locked, and they both knew that they were right for each other. They quickly
ducked down an alley and began to go at it like rutting pigs.
The woman was so simply amazed at the ability of the machine, that she had to
try it one more time. She stood on the machine, put her last quarter in, and
out came a card that read: "Your age is 32, you weigh 135 lbs., You've
fiddled, You've farted, You've screwed around, and now you've missed your