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Talking Duck

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer and a sandwich.

The bartender looks at him and says, "But you're a duck."

"I see your eyes are working," replies the duck.

"And you talk!" exclaims the bartender.

"I see your ears are working," says the duck, "Now can I have my beer and my sandwich, please?"

"Certainly," says the bartender, "sorry about that, it's just we don't get many ducks in this pub. What are you doing round this way?"

"I'm working on the building site across the road," explains the duck.

So the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, pays and leaves. This continues for 2 weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town. The ringleader of the circus comes into the pub and the bartender tells him about the incredible talking duck.

"Marvellous!" says the ringleader, "get him to come see me."

So the next day, the duck comes into the pub. The bartender says, "Hey, Mr Duck, I lined you up with a top job paying really good money!"

"Yeah?" says the duck, "Sounds great, where is it?"

"At the circus" says the bartender.

"The circus?" the duck enquires.

"That's right," replies the bartender.

"The circus? That place with the big tent? With all the
animals? With the big canvas roof with the hole in the middle?" asks the duck.

"That's right!" says the bartender.

The duck looks confused and asks: "What the fuck do they want with a plasterer?"

 

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I am not the author of these jokes, and do not claim to own any copyright privileges to them. I assume them to be widely available in the public domain, and I do my best not to use copyrighted material.  If you know any good jokes or funny stories etc. and want to share them, then email them to                         submit a joke

If they are not copyrighted, offensive, abusive, or of a discriminatory nature I may use them.

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