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Below are some of the excuses used parents when asking for their child to be excused for being absent: -

So why weren't you in school yesterday:

"My son is under the doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him."

"Please excuse Mary for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot."

"Please excuse Fred for being. It was his father's fault."

"Please excuse Fred being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and 33,"

"Mary could not come to school today because she was bother by very close veins."

"Fred has an acre in his side."

"Please excuse Fred from P.E. for a few days. He fell yesterday out of a tree and misplaced his hip."

"Please excuse Mary from Jim yesterday. She is administrating."

"Please excuse Fred for being absent. He had a cold and could not breed well."

"Please excuse Mary. She has been sick and under the doctor."

"Please excuse Mary from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps."

"John has been absent because he had two teeth taken off his face."

"Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hit in the growing part."

"My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent this weekend with the Marines."

"Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels."

"Maryann was absent Dec. 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low-grade fever. There must be the flu going around, her father even got hot last night."

"George was absent yesterday because he had a stomach."

"Ralph was absent yesterday because he had a sore trout."

"Please excuse Lupe. She is having problems with her ovals."

"Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had diahr, diahoah, dyah the shits."

 

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I am not the author of these jokes, and do not claim to own any copyright privileges to them. I assume them to be widely available in the public domain, and I do my best not to use copyrighted material.  If you know any good jokes or funny stories etc. and want to share them, then email them to                         submit a joke

If they are not copyrighted, offensive, abusive, or of a discriminatory nature I may use them.

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