This couple had only been married for two weeks.
The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go into town to
tease the barmaids and party with his old buddies.
So he says to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back..."
"Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife.
"I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer."
The wife says, "You want a beer my love?" Then she opens the refrigerator and
shows him 25 different kinds of beer- brands from 12 different countries:
Germany, Holland, Japan, India...even Bud Light.
The husband doesn't know what to do, and the only thing that he can think of
saying is, "Yes, loolie loolie, but the bar, you know... the frozen glass..."
He didn't get to finish the sentence, when the wife interrupted him by saying,
"You want a frozen glass, puppy face?" And she takes a huge beer mug out of
the freezer so frozen that she was getting chills holding it.
The husband, looking a bit pale, says, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the bar they
have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious...I won't be long. I'll be
right back. I promise, OK?
"You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?" And she opens the oven and takes out
dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in a blanket, mushroom
caps, pork strips, etc.
"But, sweet honey...at the bar...you know...the swearing, the dirty words and
"You want some dirty words, cutie pie? Here: SIT THE FUCK DOWN, DRINK YOUR
FUCKIN' BEER IN YOUR FROZEN FUCKIN' MUG AND EAT YOUR FUCKIN' SNACKS. YOU
AREN'T GOING TO THE FUCKIN' BAR! GOT IT, ASSHOLE?!"