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This couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go into town to tease the barmaids and party with his old buddies.

So he says to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back..."

"Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife.

"I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer."

The wife says, "You want a beer my love?" Then she opens the refrigerator and shows him 25 different kinds of beer- brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India...even Bud Light.

The husband doesn't know what to do, and the only thing that he can think of saying is, "Yes, loolie loolie, but the bar, you know... the frozen glass..."

He didn't get to finish the sentence, when the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?" And she takes a huge beer mug out of the freezer so frozen that she was getting chills holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, says, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious...I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise, OK?

"You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?" And she opens the oven and takes out dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in a blanket, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

"But, sweet honey...at the bar...you know...the swearing, the dirty words and all that..."

"You want some dirty words, cutie pie? Here: SIT THE FUCK DOWN, DRINK YOUR FUCKIN' BEER IN YOUR FROZEN FUCKIN' MUG AND EAT YOUR FUCKIN' SNACKS. YOU AREN'T GOING TO THE FUCKIN' BAR! GOT IT, ASSHOLE?!"

 

 

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I am not the author of these jokes, and do not claim to own any copyright privileges to them. I assume them to be widely available in the public domain, and I do my best not to use copyrighted material.  If you know any good jokes or funny stories etc. and want to share them, then email them to                         submit a joke

If they are not copyrighted, offensive, abusive, or of a discriminatory nature I may use them.

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