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Q. Why do men want to marry virgins?
A. They can't stand criticism.

Q. What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
A. 1. No mind. 2. No business.

Q. Did you hear about the banker who's a great lover?
A. He knows first-hand the penalty for early withdrawal.

Q. Why are men like laxatives?
A. They irritate the shit out of you.

Q. Why do men name their penises?
A. Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the person who makes all their decisions.

Q. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
A. Because those men already have boyfriends.

Q. Why do men like masturbation?
A. Its sex with someone they love.

Q. What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
A. The porcupine has pricks on the outside.

Q. How do men sort their laundry?
A. "Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".

Q. Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
A. So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.

Q. Why do men love computers?
A. No matter what mood they're in, they can still get a floppy in.

Q. How does a man take a bubble bath?
A. He eats beans for dinner.

Q. How can you tell if a man is sexually excited?
A. He's breathing.

Q. What's a man's idea of foreplay?
A. A half hour of begging.

Q. What did God say after creating man?
A. I can do better.

Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay?
A. They don't have time.

Q. Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilise one egg?
A. They won't stop to ask directions.

Q. Why did God make man before woman?
A. You need a rough draft before you have a final copy.

Q. What do you have when you have 2 balls in your hand?
A. His undivided attention.

Q. How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down?
A. Nobody knows, it hasn't happened yet."




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I am not the author of these jokes, and do not claim to own any copyright privileges to them. I assume them to be widely available in the public domain, and I do my best not to use copyrighted material.  If you know any good jokes or funny stories etc. and want to share them, then email them to                         submit a joke

If they are not copyrighted, offensive, abusive, or of a discriminatory nature I may use them.

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