A shy Welsh village man, Elwyn, noticed that a
beautiful girl had moved in next door. But Elwyn was shy so every time he saw
her in the garden or in the street he couldn't think of what to say, so he
would say 'good morning miss' or 'good afternoon miss' and hurry off about his
He talked to his friend in the bar. "Jones," he said, "a beautiful girl lives
next door to me, but I don't know how to chat girls up, I've never done it
Jones said, "All you have to do is say to her 'good morning miss. It's a
beautiful day isn't it? What beautiful flowers in your garden.' That will get
the conversation going."
Elwyn practiced this in front of a mirror for a few days. Then one night at
the local pub he saw her. Elwyn stood near the bar trying to pluck up the
courage to go and talk to her. He was nearly ready when the girl got up and
went to the washroom.
This is it, thought Elwyn, its now or never. So he stood outside the washroom
and waited. She was ever such a long time that poor Elwyn was starting to lose
his nerve. He was just about to walk away when the girl came out. There she
was, right in front of him looking beautiful.
Elwyn said, "Erm, erm g-good evening, miss."
She said, "Good evening."
He continued, 'It's a b-beautiful day isn't it?"
"Yes," she said, "it is a splendid day."
Encouraged he went on. "I'm your neighbour, and I must tell you you have a
She smiled, "Thank you. I think so, too."
Stuck for something else to talk about, Elwyn stammered, "Erm, erm, err, ah,
you've just had a shit, have you?"