"Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the
receptionist at the V.D. Clinic."
wanna go back to my place?"
Woman: "Well, I don't
know. Will two people fit under a rock?"
really like to get into your pants."
Woman: "No thanks. There's
already one asshole in there."
memorable rebuttal to a turn-down (used by the guy who used to live across the
hall from me in residence) when he asked a girl to dance and she refused:
Man: "Want to Dance?"
Woman: "No, thank you."
Man: "Don't thank me,
thank God because somebody asked you."
like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone
Man: "But I don't know
Woman: "That's in the
phone book too."
what do you do for a living?"
know, I'd really love to travel to exotic places with you."
Woman: (tries to ignore
Man: "You know what? I
also love sex. What do you say to that?"
Woman: "Hmmm...you really
love sex and travel?"
Man: (nods his head
Woman: "Then go take a
I like the
line I once heard in a movie. This guy was trying to pick up this girl, and
she said to him, "Can you pound a railroad spike through a 2x4 with your
hard-on?" To which he merely shudders a negative. She says, "Well, a girl's
gotta have her standards."
coucher avec moi ce soir?" (Would you like to go to bed with me tonight?)
Woman: "Je voudrais bien,
mais je n'ai rien a porter." (I would love to, but I have nothing to wear
Q: What sign
were you born under?
A: No Parking.
A guy comes
up to a girl and tells her some pick-up line. She grabs his crotch, looks down
at it, looks back at him, and says, "Sorry, I don't see any potential here"
and nonchalantly walks off.
one including the correct snappy return
Man: "How do you like your
eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized, fuck
hearing a pick-up line:
Woman: "I like your
approach, now let's see your departure."
of mine once had a greying man in his 60's approach her in a club while she
was in college with the line, "Where have you been all my life?" She took one
glance at him and said, "For the first half of it, I probably wasn't born
A friend of
mine came up with a very quick response over vacation. We were walking down
the street and I glanced at a girl who had just walked by. She turned around
and said to me, "What are you looking at?" My friend, walking next to me came
to the rescue, "He thought you were good looking, but he was mistaken."
college, a few friends were discussing how their "passes" had been rejected by
the intended female recipient. One of the ladies explained how she handled it
once... When the guy, obviously getting irritated, blurted out something like,
"Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason!" She
responded, "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!" He immediately blanched, and
decided that maybe he would look someplace else.
attractive young woman was sitting at the bar, alone, when the lounge lizard
made his move. "I'm here," he breathed huskily, "to fulfil your every sexual
fantasy." The woman turned and looked at him. Her lips parted and she
moistened them with the tip of her tongue. She leaned toward him with her
hands on her thighs, and her eyes opened to the size of dinner plates. She
paused just a second and then delivered the crusher line, "You've got a large
donkey or Doberman?"
don't date outside my species."
baby, if you come home with me, I can show you a really good time."
Woman: "You know what your
problem is? Your mouth is writing checks that your body can't cash."